3 Grief Myths About Pet Loss (And the Truth Behind Them)
If you’ve ever felt people tense up when you mention your loss, change the subject when you start to share a memory, or offer quick fixes like “maybe it’s time to get another pet,” you know how isolating pet loss grief can be.
Our culture is deeply uncomfortable with grief, and it shows in the subtle ways people try to steer you away from talking about it. But here’s the truth: the way others feel about grief aren’t just wrong, they’re harmful. They keep us stuck, ashamed, and cut off from the very process that could help us heal. In this article, you’ll find the top three grief myths about pet loss that are keeping you stuck, and the truths that help you process and integrate your pet loss grief.
If you’re looking for compassionate tools and guidance to support you through pet loss, explore our Pet Loss Resources, including self-guided ebooks, grief gift boxes, and healing bundles.
3 Grief Myths About Pet Loss (And the Truth Behind Them)
Myth #1: “Talking about it just makes it worse.”
This is one of the most damaging myths out there. The idea that speaking about your loss will somehow “re-open the wound” is not only false, it’s actually backwards.
Here’s what really happens when we suppress grief:
When we avoid talking about our feelings, our brain and body don’t get the chance to process them. The nervous system stays in a state of alert, cycling through fight, flight, or freeze. Over time, this unprocessed stress can:
Disrupt sleep and digestion
Trigger chronic pain or muscle tension
Fuel anxiety and depression
Weaken the immune system
Research shows that grief isn’t just an emotional experience, but deeply affects the body and brain. When we suppress our feelings or avoid grieving fully, it can disrupt the natural way our nervous system and physiology adapt to loss. According to O’Connor (2019), this interruption can contribute to long-term physical and mental health challenges. Grief isn’t an inconvenience to be hidden for others’ comfort; it’s a vital process our whole being is wired to move through in order to heal.¹
Talking about your loss – telling the stories, naming the feelings, remembering the moments – actually helps the brain integrate the experience. It takes the intensity stored in your nervous system and gives it a safe path to move through.
Silence doesn’t protect you from pain. It traps you in it, and you deserve to be witnessed in your hard moments. Speak your truth.
Myth #2: “You should be over it by now.”
There is no expiration date on grief. The six-week, six-month, or one-year “timeline” people throw around is pure social invention that has nothing to do with how humans actually heal.
Pet grief is cyclical, not linear. You might feel stable for a while, then be knocked flat by a memory, an anniversary, or even an unexpected sound or scent. That’s not failure; that’s how grief works.
Your love was real. Your loss is real. And real bonds leave real wounds on the heart for as long as you live.
Myth #3: “It’s just a pet.”
Let’s be clear: they are never “just” a pet. When an animal is your family, your constant companion, your source of unconditional love, their loss is life-shattering.
You’re not only grieving the loss of their physical presence. You’re grieving the routines, the emotional safety, the sense of being known without judgment. For many, a pet is the reason they get out of bed in the morning. That bond deserves the same reverence we give to any other profound relationship.
The Truth: The Way Through Grief is to Grieve
Grief is not a problem to fix. It’s a process to move through. And science backs this up: when we allow ourselves to feel and express grief physically, emotionally, and even creatively, we give the nervous system the space it needs to regulate and integrate.
This doesn’t mean you “get over” the loss. It means it becomes part of the story of your life. A heartbreaking, earth-shattering, pain part of the story, but when you allow yourself to feel all of it, it has the ability to soften.
So if you’ve been told to stay silent, move on, or minimize your loss, please know this: there is nothing wrong with you for still feeling it. You are not broken. You are human.
If you’re navigating the loss of a beloved animal companion, we’ve created a collection of Pet Loss Resources to support you – from gentle grief rituals to guided meditations, courses, and gift boxes designed to honor your bond.
References:
O'Connor M. F. (2019). Grief: A Brief History of Research on How Body, Mind, and Brain Adapt. Psychosomatic medicine, 81(8), 731–738. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6844541/
